Category: Verbs

What’s wrong with me? I mean, this time? The answers are here. I know them all, and most of them I know to be true. I’ve recited them to myself and others so many times that we all agree—but seldom out loud—that I’m on the right track. At least that’s what we hope. Another day… Continue reading Timbre #51: This Time

I was born with a gift. So it isn’t bragging when I tell you that I can complain like nobody’s biz. It’s just a fact. I’m very talented in that regard. My favorite subject—for years and years it seems—is the (mis)direction of anything and everything that has to do with skateboarding. Dill moves feeble forward… Continue reading Timbre #49: Critical Acclaim

I live in the most amazing place. All my friends are here—I mean even all the friends I’ve met from other states and countries. Relocated, fool. Plus my entire well-adjusted, extended family. We’re thick like a German accent. The high school I dropped out of is like second or third globally when it comes to… Continue reading Timbre #48: Paradise Localized

Do you ever think about what you’d give up or trade for skateboarding—for some trick or skill or expertise that you don’t currently have, but that you really, really want? Would you trade your apartment for perfect frontside flips? Or maybe you’d give up your car for stalled inverts. While we’re placing orders, you might… Continue reading Timbre #47: Give It Up

Who the heck do we give this award to? Because we’ve been informed that skateboarding is, once again, the Best Of The Year. Yeah … out of all those other things out there—streaming things and lifestyle things and self-hacking netizen things—skateboarding is still the best. Just like it has been since all those black-and-white photos… Continue reading Timbre #46: Best Of The Year

Temper and anger and madness and frustration. They’re my most familiar buddies these days. And even though I keep my relationships with these most royal of downers close to the chest—surprising the less familiar of my acquaintances when they first witness a board-splintering tirade or toe-to-toe confrontation with one of my personal demons—they’ve been with… Continue reading Timbre #45: Goodbye, Shithead, My Old Friend

The other day, I reluctantly found myself telling a local city worker that I was an expert in skateboarding. Then he looked over at his fellow city worker and rolled his eyes. Great, right? Design, build, and use. Lance Mountain has expertly carved out his share of parks, pools, and otherwise. Photo: Arto Saari Listen… Continue reading Timbre #44: Expertly Speaking

I don’t know what to tell you. I hurt my knee jumping off the space shuttle, but I’m a finisher. I’ll just get a new joint and go again. Are you getting all this? Cool, ’cause later I need you to take me to the moon. I’m gonna back flip that thing. AVE‘s approach isn’t… Continue reading Timbre #41: Comin’ Attcha

I have a confession. It’s been 30 years since my last confession. Since then, I’ve yelled at people who probably only deserved a smart-ass remark. I’ve also been a smart ass to people who deserved to be yelled at. I promise to fix that. Oh, and I yelled at my dog, too. A lot. And… Continue reading Timbre #40: I’m The Man

“How come no one told us?” I’ve heard shrilly put forward. Look … you can be brutal, you can be harsh, you can be a total dick. But don’t pretend you don’t know and please don’t ask things like this. Why? Because nobody shouldn’t have to tell us—not openly, anyway. But it’s clear that skateboarding… Continue reading Timbre #39: Custom Build

At the risk of sounding like Count Grumpula, Captain Seriouso, or a bossy, biased, boring bitch, I’m going to type a little bit about the state of the skateboard industry. Please forgive me. I’ve used this example before when the subject of blank boards, shop boards, team boards, branded boards, and pro boards comes up—which… Continue reading Timbre #38: Run, Run, Fast As You Can

Hi. It’s me. I’ve been sick and it’s got me concerned. Because in the process of adapting to the germs or infection or whatever it was, and taking legal drugs, and sweaty sleep, and bowls of salty soup with glorious titles like Chicken Noodle and Indian Spiciness, the thing I know as “me” might have… Continue reading Timbre #37: Illmatic

“I need that.” I find myself bleating every day in reference to about a half million things. And it’s nothing more than a harmless lie, really. At the very worst, a thinly-veiled expression of “want” as opposed to “need”—a self-destructive bark about skills or food or cars or … Wait. I think the UPS man… Continue reading Timbre #36: Can’t Guarantee

What do I know? Okay, for one, we’re ahead of the leaders. That I’m sure of. What else? Well, in the theme of this well-endowed opinion, I had planned on typing the best thing of the year. About a young man and his unwavering life of best-ever moments. His stories did not interest anyone, yet… Continue reading Timbre #34: Trust Exercise

What do you got? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. And there are little tiny parts of us—parts that scream and burn and give us headaches and make our hair feel like we’ve been wearing a hat for too long—that really do believe it. “NOTIHNG!” they yell in twelve-story-tall letters that you can see from ten blocks away.… Continue reading Timbre #33: About Much Else