Category: Verbs

You are the worst. A lost cause. A smaller amount than absolutely nothing. You actually owe me some money for having to put up with the burden of your worthlessness. And we are all very proud. The shittiness you possess is something that cannot be faked. It’s so real that there can be no imitators,… Continue reading Timbre #31: Good Health

We interrupt the normal flow of things to bring you this interruption. Imbalance is skateboarding. And of course, vice versa is also true. I heard Tommy Guerrero paraphrase Bruce Lee recently. And I too will paraphrase. “Perfect balance,” I say he said Bruce said, “comes in motion.” This is also true. Moving through the equilibrium… Continue reading Timbre #30: Interlude

This was originally written for TransWorld Skateboarding on 9/12/2001. I think it ran the following month. I interviewed a ton of NYC skaters around that time, too, and within an issue or two after that, we ran an article with quotes and photos. It was a weird interval for everyone, not just skaters. No one… Continue reading Toner #9: Never Forget: Skateboarding Matters

I went bowling. It’s not all pins flying and spheres spinning and frames filling, as you might assume. Lots of it, on the level I bowl, is sitting in a fiberglass chair, looking around at what the rest of the bowlers are doing, and thinking about whatever. And beer. That’s it, really. Observing and thinking… Continue reading Timbre #28: Power Of Sneaky

“Yes,” the man thought. “The answer is probably yes. But then again …” He’d been doing this for weeks. A thought would pop into his head and it would seem so concrete, so true. But then he’d dwell on it, he’d give it some time, he’d mull it over. And eventually the thought became soft… Continue reading Timbre #27: Then Again

Do I type about this or not? I was in my office yesterday afternoon and got a call from Cheryl. “Owen got hit by a car and he’s dead. He got out the front door. He’s down on the corner.” I heard myself say, “What?” and before I knew it I was up the stairs,… Continue reading The Metre Reader #3: RIP Owen

More and more often—if you’re listening for it—you can hear people say these exact words: “I don’t really want to leave [Chicago, Tempe, Minneapolis, Portland, New Jersey, etc.].” Hearing this is not bad for your ears. Grant Taylor backside noseblunts where he hangs his hat—Atlanta, Georgia. Photo: Ryan Flynn My own hometown anti-exile, away from… Continue reading Timbre #26: Spread

As a skateboarder of any age, we’re repeatedly faced with heaping piles of our own bullshit and then left to take big nasally whiffs—eyes squinting, mouths drooling. We see things differently than everyone else, we say. We’re all family, you know. We’re united through our weirdness. Wherever we go in the world, we find friends… Continue reading The Metre Reader #2: This Something Is You (Skateboarding And The Pine Ridge Indian Reservation)

Grrr. You read right. Grrr. Sure, I know better, but, “Frickin’ Grrr!” anyway. So entrenched in not giving a shit after decades of self-taught apathy and counter-intuitive methods to everything from eating, drinking, making nice with the neighbors, and all the rest, that even though I can see myself doing it, and I know it’s… Continue reading Timbre #25: Don’t Care Bears

You’ve been derailed before. I read about it somewhere; I’m almost sure of it. A bomb fell, a hard drive ate itself, a late fee was assessed, a plane didn’t stop and instead skidded, and the tracks were jumped. Everyone saw it, and it hurt, but they said, “Nice fall.” And you got up and… Continue reading Timbre #24: The Get

This is blog version of the telephone game: A Prince story told by Taboo to my friend Animal Chan, who posted it to his What Is SGV site almost ten years ago, and now, through the power of the never-ending internet, The Good Problem is passing it on to you. Hello. Anyone who knows me… Continue reading As I Heard It: Taboo’s Prince Story

This is a test. For the next 500-ish words, this blog will be conducting a test of the Emergency Skate Publishing System. This is only a test. If you are bored: 1) It’s someone else’s fault. 2) It must be 2006. 3) You are boring. 4) You could always go skateboarding. If you have multiple… Continue reading Timbre #23: Always And Forever

Holy shit! Still reeling from the trip of a lifetime. Last week’s reimagined CHP Open was a … well … I can’t really call it a skateboard contest. But it had contest elements to it, for sure. And it wasn’t a demo, but everywhere you looked you could see amazing demonstrations of skateboarding prowess from… Continue reading Visual Rep: CHP Open Field Trip

Photo: Pete Diantoni I’m twice guilty of the bike toss. Once in a race somewhere in Iowa in ’93 when I flatted out of the break. I tossed my bike into the ditch and bent my saddle rails. Served me right. Another more recent toss happened after a Wednesday night ride crash in 2005. Side… Continue reading TGP Works: “Bike Toss” from issue #2 of TWO magazine